I have fond memories of being a child and running around outside with my siblings. I can remember hunting down huge toad frogs and making houses out of sticks to keep them in with my older brother, playing G.I Joes/Barbies in the mud puddles around our house after it rained, letting the neighbors calves lick my hand with their sandpaper like tongues, and quietly watching our outdoor mama cat having kittens. I remember especially loving the time we lived by a dairy farm. I was 4 years old and remember someone taking me to feed the chickens and cows. Each memory seems filled with sunny days and time spent on breezy porches. One day I clearly remember my mom calling me on the back porch and seeing her holding a baby deer, otherwise known as a fawn. My mother had it laying on her lap and had gotten a bottle with milk. She let me hold the bottle while the little fawn gulped down the milk and we just talked. What a fantastic moment. A little while back I was telling my husband about this memory and he just laughed at me and implied I was crazy. He said there is no way you feed a baby deer with a bottle. I quickly dialed up my mom and was ready for her to jump to my defense when I listened in shock as she told me we hadn’t fed a baby deer, ever. We had fed a baby kitten once when I was young, she said, and that was probably the memory I had but it was just a bit jumbled. I couldn’t believe it! What in the world? Why did I so clearly remember the little fawn and it’s white spots? Weird, weird, weird.
I have since come to the conclusion that my memory is faulty. I had changed my memory into something I wanted it to be instead of what was actual and real. No matter how convinced I might be that I have all of the facts I am always reminding myself of that baby deer/kitten. I grew up in the church and have heard sermons almost every sunday since I was born, I have read the bible cover to cover multiple times, I have taken various biblical college courses, and spent hours in my own private bible studying but I need to remember that my memory is faulty. Every day I need to be spending time in the word even once again pouring over those scriptures I have memorized. This way I know I won’t have as much of a chance of letting my memory of the word be faulty or shifted into saying what I want them to say but I will constantly be refreshing my memory with the truth that is life.
8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.
10 I have tried hard to find you—
don’t let me wander from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart,
that I might not sin against you.